Relationships

When God created the earth and everything in it, the only thing that was not “good” to him was the fact that Adam had no companion. He created a wife for Adam in order to dispel loneliness. And from that point on relationships remained a priority for God in the human race.

Six of the ten commandments were meant to protect relationships from abuse. The most important relationship organism next to the family is the church—a place where people can bond spiritually and emotionally with one another and strengthen one another.
It is clear that, in the Bible, relationships matter more than anything else, first, our relationship with God, then with one another. Dr. James Dobson has written that, “For some strange reason, human beings…tolerate stresses and pressures much more easily if at least one other person knows they are enduring it.”

Friend Relationships

Since being a friend involves bonding with someone, James warns his readers not to become friends with the evil ways of this world, for to do so makes one an enemy of God (James 4:4). There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” is a proverb that shows that the natural ties of people can be superseded and surpassed by ties of willing devotion and companionship (Proverbs 18:24).

The need for committed friends doesn’t mean we should rush out and try to accumulate them on a wholesale basis. Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray>” Many things in life are not left to our choosing, but friendships are. The choice of friends is more than a right, however—it is a responsibility.

Spouse relationships

Marriage is in trouble today because society and the church have a faulty view of it. Every marriage faces conflict, misunderstanding, smashed fantasies and bruised egos. Any real marriage held against the faulty yardstick of total joy will measure short. If relationships are meant to give total joy and they fail, then lives become shattered.

Men and women communicate differently. The best way to clarify communication is to use a technique called restating. Very Simple, the listener states back to the speaker what is said and the speaker clarifies it is the same. It’s a two-way process which is continued until agreement is reached that the message heard is the same as the message spoken.

Marriage is difficult even when spouses communicate well, and those who don’t learn to communicate well will find the challenges almost insurmountable. Paul says we are to lovingly speak the truth to one another, and speaking the truth “in love” is important. Some people boast that they always tell the truth to their spouse, but they do so critically or with such meanness that it destroys the other person. Speaking the truth in love means to speak with love and grace.

If we embrace and nurture personal anger toward our marriage partner, we are almost inviting Satan to come in and capitalize on our sin by tempting us to do something worse. We are to encourage one another with our words. Using our speech to build up someone means you lift them up with encouraging words, say only what will help.

We are to forgive each other just as God in Christ has forgiven us. True love is both saying you are sorry and extending forgiveness to those who have made mistakes or who have hurt us. This does not come natural not our human nature; it is a skill (discipline) which must be learned.

Children Relationships

Concerning children, we must weigh our words carefully, they are much heavier than we think.

Ephesians exhorts parents not to provoke their children but to train them up “in the Lord.” Colossians 3:21 adds an insightful commentary on the task of training children: Do not provoke them lest they become discouraged.” It is easy to discourage children with our words. Parents must be careful with their words, they are powerful and can have life-changing effects on our children.

Our lives are our most powerful parenting tool, we have to diligently monitor it.

Proverbs 20:7 says “The righteous man walks in his integrity: His children are blessed after him” It is so important that we do first what we want our children to do later. We cannot fool our children; they will spot hypocrisy and double standards in a moment and rebel completely against what we have directed and counseled them to do.

God never intended for us to be loners. “The Lone Ranger” is a good story, but its not a good lifestyle. When people talk about what God is doing, they speak of relationships. They’ve discovered that growth in the spiritual realm is a lot easier when you grow together with another person who helps and encourages you.