Relationships Are Tough

Most Relationships Start Out Good

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh. 2:25 And they were both naked,  the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Their relationship was one, with no problems or interferences. This speaks of openness between the man and his wife, literally, with nothing to hide. They have no secrets, nothing that they did not share with each other.

The Cause Of Tension in Relationships

High expectations.

I want what I want, regardless of the cost.

Genesis 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof and ate, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he ate.

Here lies the deceitfulness of sin: sin offers lasting pleasure, but does not deliver.Eve saw the fruit and said, it is good for food, and it is a delight to the eyes. It gives an esthetic sense of ‘that is pleasant, and I want it, regardless of cost.’  She saw that it was “to be desired to make one wise.” It ministered to the ego; it was an ego-satisfying thing. A great snare of the Devil is pride of heart, the ego in man.  Sin was—and often is—made to look reasonable and rational.

There are specific steps that move us Up or Down
 An appeal to the mind 

     Stirring of the emotions, based upon the facts in the mind

     The mind and emotions working together to move the will

Up Toward Godliness

The appeal of the good news from God is addressed first to the mind, to understanding, then moves it to action.

The greatest gift God has given to us is the ability to make moral choices; we have the right to be wrong if we insist.  God Himself does not violate this. He does not coerce us. He does not force us to be right.  It is the greatest dignity given to man.

The Way Down

The enemy implants distrust in her heart, a distrust of God

He openly substitutes a lie for the truth, positioning it in the future, where you cannot check the results until it is to late.

Quickly, he moves in to support his lie with a distorted truth.

An Interesting Fall

The woman does not try to tempt the man. She simply gives and he takes. He neither challenges nor raises questions. The woman allows her mind and her own judgment to be her guide; the man neither approves nor rebukes. Hers was a sin of initiative. His was a sin of acquiescence.

The Relationship is Challenged

The oneness has disappeared.

Genesis 3:7 And the eyes of them both were opened,  and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves things to gird about.

Their relationship must now struggle to remain in the good, as it was. They must try to correct it their way, so they hide from each other and from God.

Genesis 3:10 And he said, “I heard Thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”

Man seems to try to hide his thoughts from God,  his nakedness is mentioned, but not the disobedience…

The Bad/Diminished Relationship  Brings Out Blame

Genesis 3:12 And the man replied, “The woman whom You  gave me, she gave to me from the tree and I ate.” 3:13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, “What is this that thou hast done?” And the woman said,  “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Author Gerald May frankly states in his insightful book, Addiction and Grace,: To be alive is to be addicted,  and to be alive and addicted is to stand in need of [God’s] grace.

Rather than blame others for the difficulties we face, we should first consider what part of the problem lies within our own borders, as our Lord directs.

What is our part in a bad or suffering relationship, whether it be a marriage, business, family, or etc.?

Matthew 7:3 And why do you see the speck [that is] in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the beam of wood in your [own] eye? 7:5 Hypocrite! First remove the beam of wood from your [own] eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye!

‘Tis not God’s design that men should obtain assurance in any other way, than by mortifying corruption, and increasing in grace, and obtaining the lively exercises of it. Although self-examination be a duty of great use and importance, and by no means to  be neglected; yet it is not the principal means by which the saints do get satisfaction of their good estate. Assurance is not to be obtained so much by self-examination, as by action.  ~Jonathan Edwards

Let’s do all we can to make and keep good relationships with family, friends and other  human beings. Happy Valentine’s Day!